How to turn a bad day around
Stacey Yates Sellar
Mar 20, 2020
So my friends, what to do when you're having a bad day? Let's start with knowing this.
We talked about this really early on and we talked about this baseline of happiness because this is called the set point theory. And that we all have this level of happiness and where there's something really great happens or something really bad happens, whether we win the lottery or whether we lose our legs.
I have to tell you, I just saw Amy Purdy speak. She just wrote a book called “On my Own Two Feet” and she is a double amputee and this is one of the happiest people you will ever meet. I'm not even kidding you. You watch her and you think maybe I need to lose my legs to be that happy. And what we really walk away with is let's not have to lose our legs or lose limbs or something tragic to happen before we’re that happy.
This is what I do and I hope that we can get to a place where we don't need something tragic to change our set point. My whole job, my purpose is to help you raise that set point so that when bad things happen, you bounce back higher, you can bounce back more quickly. And even if great things happen, you're not gonna drop down below a terrible baseline. You are going to enjoy being super rich because you're enjoying not being super rich. So you get where I'm going with this.
I know people don't really want to hear this and I'm sorry. But you are not a victim. I am not a victim. Nobody is a victim of what is happening around us. We have the power and I have conversations with this one person over and over and over again about how it should be and how it could have been and how, what, what she should have done.
Because you can sit in that quicksand of this is what is happening to me from all these things around me. But the reality is even if we cannot control what's happening outside of us, that person, that thing that being rear-ended, what we can control is our response to it.
And that's what my job is to help you have those tools. So this is the truth…
10% of our happiness is defined by our circumstances. And that is the things around us, whether they are good things or whether they are bad things, those are the things that are around us. Now, 40% is about what we do, what we do, how we respond to those things.
We give everything meaning and so if somebody is being difficult to work with during the day, this has no meaning. This has no meaning. What they think of me and whether they're judgments of my work has no meaning. I am doing the best that I possibly can and that's really what's important. And then I love this one and I use this all the time. Everything always works out for me. Whatever happens today, whatever, how horrible it is or how tiny it is, everything always works out for me.
I tell the universe that it may not look like what I think it's supposed to look like, but it always works out for me. It always works out for me. It always works out for me. Keep telling yourself that even have this on a piece of paper in your wallet, so when something crappy happens, everything always works out for me.
You're way ahead peeps. You are because you are living consciously, you are taking control. You are not letting those things impact those external things control you. You are controlling them. You've got this, you can do this and you know it, but it takes practice.
So I'm not saying that as soon as you walk out today and this is your first happy huddle, you're going to be like, yeah, I'm superman. Nothing can hurt me, nothing can touch me. It's practice.
It's practice, hyper gratitude. You know, I'm a big fan, big fan of gratitude. as soon as something happens, grab a piece of paper and write down. Not even five, like 10, 20, 30, a hundred, as many as you can for one minute. Break down as many things you can that you're grateful for. Everything. I'm still alive. I'm okay. Nobody I love is hurt.
I know that I'm a good person. I know people love me. Go through hyper gratitude. One minute, write this down. This is something that you're gonna need. Build your raft before you're in the storm. You're not going to remember this when you get rear-ended or when somebody is yelling at you or when somebody messes something up. Keep it all in perspective and go with hyper gratitude. It's going to help you.
PS. My friends, I am so grateful. Thank you. I'm super excited. If anything crappy happens today, email me and tell me what tip you use so that I know that these are working for you. I love you all more than you absolutely know. Thank you so much.
Stacey Yates Sellar
I have joined the happiness revolution by taking on the wee project of delivering the tips and tools of happiness - curated from the latest research and science- one minute at a time. It's quick, it's free and easy to share. I look forward to hearing your comments and requests. See you in a minute!