Did you know: you can change that judgmental voice in your head?

Marilee Adams walks us through the “Judger” and the “learner” path in her book “Change Your Questions, Change Your life”

The judger path is wrought with automatic negative, blame focused reactions. For example “Judger path” asks..

Why am I such a failure? What is wrong with me? Why are they so stupid and annoying. Whose fault is it?  That person has it better than I do. Why bother?” 

The learner path on the other hand, asks questions, thinks about choices and is solution win-win focused. On this path, we ask ourselves questions like “What assumptions am I making, “Learner Path” asks

What am I responsible for? What are the facts? What are my choices? What else is true?

Challenge that negative voice in your head that takes you down the judger path! 

Go to this link to download a free graphic that walks you through the questions that...

Do you know what is the biggest obstacle that holds us back from taking action towards our passion and purpose? 

It’s the thought : “I am not good enough”

And we all think it, at some point, to some degree. My ego does not let a day go by that it doesn't challenge me with that thought- whether at work, as a mother, a wife, as a student studying this new field of psychology, starting this project- I am not immune to the fear. that “I am not good enough”. 

I can't convince you in one minute that you are good enough but I can assure you that taking positive action will increase your self-confidence. And that taking some positive action every day (we call that “practice” around here) will help you hone your skills to build on your strengths while decreasing your tendency to compare yourself to others.   

One action is to post this message in a place where you will see it - and read it- every day:

You are braver than you...

Do you want another cool tool that will increase your happiness right now?

In addition to a gratitude journal, expressing heartfelt gratitude to another person also increases our happiness (and theirs).

Write a letter to someone that has done something kind for you recently.  Describe in detail what he or she did for you and exactly how it affected your life; mention how you often remember her efforts. You can send it in the mail or call and read it to them. But research shows delivering it in person is more impactful for both of you. 

Martin Seligman, the founder of Positive Psychology, and his colleagues tested the benefits of expressing gratitude in an exercise that was completed over the course of just one week.  In one condition, participants were given one week to write and hand deliver a letter of gratitude to someone who had been especially kind and caring to them but whom they had never properly thanked.  In other conditions, participants were...

Did you know Gratitude works to increase happiness? (and if you didn't then you haven't seen my earlier episodes)

So if you do know that gratitude does work to increase happiness then why aren't you doing it?

You are not allowed to say “I don't have time”!  

It’s a lie.  And you are banned from saying it ever again. Even if you don't have time to write 3 things down, you certainly have time to think them- while you brush your teeth or the minute before you fall asleep or before you get out of bed or in the shower or at a red light.  You have over 50,000 thoughts a day.  Imagine how different you could feel if you replaced even just a few of those negative, judgmental, worrying thoughts with those of gratitude.

Another excuse I hear- You can't seem to remember? Don't worry I have a Solution for that too.

Put a post-it note on your nightstand, or in your car. 

Tape a note to your refrigerator that says “Thank you. Thank you. Thank...

Do you know what is keeping you from being happier? 

One of the biggest excuses is “I don't know what to do.” There are so many people who are unhappy with where they are but just don't know what they want to do or how to figure it out.  You can find a free downloadable questionnaire and suggestions at happierbytheminute.com that can help.  Or you can download it directly here.

Here are a few to start with:

1. Talk about what you love to do with other people- all the time. They may have ideas or leads that you didn't even know about. They may have a suggestion that you haven't thought about. Be open! Call the person they recommended, email that lead they gave you, look into that book they thought could help you. Don't just leave it at talk. Take action. 
2. Take a class on something that interests you. There are hundreds of classes- live and online, expensive or free- on everything from music to marketing, needlepoint to nutrition, fashion to...

Do you know there is only one word that stands between you and the happiness and success that you want? 

That word, that closes the gap between where you are and where you want to be is ACTION.

I can give you all the research behind the tools that have been proven to work to improve happiness. I can deliver all the tips to success and even wrap them up in pithy quotes. I can educate you on all the habits that change people's lives. But none of them will lead you from here to there if you don't DO them. 

Unfortunately for most of us, there are a hundred words that stand between us and action. All of those words are synonyms for the same word: fear. 

Any reason that keeps you from taking action is merely fear disguised as an excuse.  And I know what those excuses are: “I don't have time.” “It won't work/ it didn't work last time.” “I need more time or information.” I know these excuses well. I used them. Until I adopted the...

Do you want to have something in common with Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey and Jim Carrey? 

Bill Gates, Jim Carrey, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Denzel Washington, Will Smith, Oprah Winfrey, just to name a few of the successful people who identify visualization and the law of attraction as a primary source of their success.

I am sure you have heard Jim Carrey’s famous story that he wrote a check to himself for $10 million in 1987 for ‘acting services rendered’ and dated it ‘thanksgiving 1995’. He talks about how it deteriorated in his wallet for years while he sat up at the Hollywood sign and visualized the great acting jobs he was getting. Then in 1994, he received $10 million for acting in the movie ‘Dumb and Dumber’.

In Arnold Schwarzenegger’s body-building days, he would visualize that his muscles and body were in ideal shape while exercising and he went on to win Mr. Olympia for seven consecutive years.

He said, “What you do is...