Do you put other people down to feel better about yourself?

Unless you are as evolved as the Dalai Lama then I suggest watching this video ASAP! 

Well maybe the Dalai Lama doesn't but I haven't reached that state of enlightenment yet. Until then, it is something I need to be conscious of. It helps to understand that it’s normal to want to be above average (remember the leader of the tribe was the one who was most likely to survive).  The reality is that constant judging is hurting us more than the person we are criticizing. We are doing it in an effort to feel better-than and build our self-esteem.  However, building self-esteem on the judgments others is like building a house on quicksand. It won't hold. 

How do we change? Learn that each encounter with another person- especially one that annoys us- offers us the gift of greater self-awareness by uncovering what we do and don’t accept about ourselves.  The truth is that our reactions, judgment,...

Here are some super quick wordplays that can improve your happiness.

Change the word “HAVE TO” to “GET TO”. You don’t have to go to work. You don't have to pick up the kids from school. you don't have to meet your parents for dinner. You GET to go to work. You get to pick up your kids from school. You get to meet your parents for dinner. Try it and see if it changes your attitude just a bit.

Find more tips at happierbytheminute.com's video library.

See you in a minute,

Could you say “my job has no meaning” with ease? How about “my relationship has no meaning?”

In this book “The Achievement Habit”, Bernie Roth explains an exercise he has his Stanford students go through. He asks them to list everything in their lives and say “this has no meaning”- from their shoes to their children.

He says, “The point of the exercise is not to get the participants to change their relationships, but rather to empower them with the realization that they have chosen the meanings they give.”

Once we understand that we choose what meaning and importance to place on something, (that tone your boss had on the call, the invitation that you didn't get, the number of “likes”, the importance of grades) you can also understand that it is you- not external circumstances who determines the quality of your life.

So start to become aware of the meaning you give everything throughout the day. It’s...

So why aren't you happier?

You’ve watched some of my videos, even written down a few things that you are grateful for, maybe even did a few random acts of kindness in the last month. And there was that one time you started to get frustrated with yourself but you were able to change that negative mind chapter into something more positive and productive.

But why aren't you exponentially happier? Because you will get out of it exactly what you put into it. The sum is the accumulation of the parts. The more aware, mindful, kind, grateful and optimistic you can be, the happier you will be.

The more you build healthy relationships and weed out the negative, the happier you will be. The more goals you set and achieve- in balance with everything else- the happier you will be. It’s a skill.

Want to improve your skill?

Want to be happier?

Practice more.

See you in a minute,

Happiness is a skill that takes practice. The more you do the happier you will be.

Here are some quick tips to keep the practice up throughout the day:

1. Post it notes- remind yourself to truly express gratitude for multiple things throughout the day. Have them in enough places and you will do it so often that it will become a habit.
2. Make your passwords something affirming and positive. Think about how many times you type in a password and then imagine if you how impactful it would be if you were repeating something you were working on like: “healthy and happy”, “awesome marriage” or “my successful business”
3. Set reminders in your phone throughout the day to remind you to be mindful. Be kind. Be grateful. Stop and breathe. Whatever piece you are working on, weave it into your day through a reminder.

See you in a minute,

Did you know happiness doesn't just come from thinking happy thoughts all the time?

Just so we are clear- Positive Psychology isn't “Happiology” where the expectation is to be happy all the time. It is about: the Permission to be Human; the permission to make mistakes, to be sad, to be frustrated and to be imperfect.  “Permission to be Human” coined by Harvard professor and Positivity expert Tal Ben Shahar.

Another way of looking at it is : “Struggling well”.

Positive Psychology gives us interventions that not only help us enhance positive experiences but also tools to help cope better with negative events and build flexibility to move fluidly through negative emotions. 

It doesn't ask us to eliminate bad things or obstacles but rather it gives us tools to move through those experiences better so we can learn and grow from them.

As we better understand these tools and make them more common and habitual, which means we PRACTICE...

Did you know that how you look at challenges determines how successful you will be?

How you look at challenges is determined by your Mindset. Mindset is defined as a set of beliefs or a way of thinking that influences how we act, think and feel. 

Carol Dweck, world renowned Stanford psychologist / modern day guru whose decades of research on success and achievement led to a simple idea of two mindsets: FIXED vs GROWTH.

A fixed mindset believes that intelligence is static, that abilities are established at birth and can not change much regardless of how hard we try. They believe that talent alone creates success, without effort and they are wrong. 

Couple a fixed mindset with our natural concern to look smart, talented and accomplished and we avoid challenges, give up easily, see effort as fruitless, ignore useful feedback and are threatened by success of others. As a result of having a fixed mindset- we plateau early and achieve less than our full potential.

A growth...

Did you know optimism can be learned?  Do you consider yourself an optimist or a pessimist?

l highly recommend listening up because you are going to want to be identified as an optimist when you hear the following:

There is a great deal of research documenting that Optimists are happier and more successful academically, athletically, professionally, and socially. Optimists do better and are healthier. Optimistic thinking is a huge advantage in this rapidly changing world.

Here’s the cool part- Optimism is a learned skill that can be taught and practiced.

According to Martin Seligman, founder of Positive Psychology, optimists explain life’s events differently than pessimists do.  Pessimists take negative things that happen to them personally, while optimists find them unlikely to happen again.

For example, a pessimist trips on the sidewalk and thinks: "I'm so clumsy – I'm always tripping everywhere and now I look stupid." She sees the cause of her...

Did you know: there is a field of Psychology that is focused entirely on what’s RIGHT with you?

Watch this to learn the five areas to focus on to increase happiness

According to Paul Wong, who calls Positive Psychology “a quiet positive revolution” the underlying  theme of positive psychology is that life can be made better for all people, if certain conditions are met."

The research is growing every day supporting the idea that certain tools, behaviors, and activities can improve our happiness. 

Martin Seligman– the founding father of positive psychology– believes that happiness and well-being come from focusing improvement in 5 areas of our life: 

1. Positivity- which includes gratitude, optimistic thinking, and a growth mindset

2. Engagement- which includes choice, self-discipline, mindfulness, building on your strengths and the concept of flow or “being in the zone”.

3. Relationships- why they are important and...

Yes, it’s true. Watch the video to find out what is greater than your genetics when it comes to happiness!

Did you know when asked, "what do you want most in life?" 90% of people answered, "to be happy". The other 10% answered "to be rich or famous" but that's just because they think that will make them happy.Happy people are more likely to: have more friends, get sick less, enjoy their work, have better performance evaluations, sell more, make more money, and experience less burnout.

Happy people have better relationships, less loneliness, have more social activities and are less jealous.

Happy people are more likely to be healthier, have less hospital visits, volunteer more and are more grateful.

Happy people feel better, do better and live longer.

Who wouldn't want that?!

The big question is HOW do we become happier?

Science says 50% of our happiness is determined by our genetics. Only 10% is determined by our life conditions (that's the money, house, sneakers, body,...