Do you practice self-compassion?
We do know that it is ineffective to increase happiness by judging and criticizing others. So let's stop that and learn a better way.
One of those better ways is summed up in 2 small words: self-compassion. With self-compassion, we give ourselves the same kindness and care we'd give to a good friend. While it sounds simple, it does not seem to be easy. Self-compassion is an important vehicle that moves you closer to happier so don't dismiss it too quickly.
Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher on self-compassion says “having compassion for yourself means that you honor and accept your HUMAN-NESS. Things will not always go the way you want them to. You will encounter frustrations, losses, mistakes, limitations, fall short
This is the human condition, a reality shared by all of us. The more you open your heart to this reality instead of constantly fighting against it, the more you will be able to feel...
Did you know that positive events alone are not enough to bring about happiness?
Well, what does it take then? Watch this episode for the magic answer!
Wait. What did I just say? Positive events aren't enough to bring about happiness?
Yes- according to psychologist Fred Bryant, people need to be able to attend to and appreciate the positive feelings that emerge from positive events.
We have all seen grumpy people at parties where everyone else is enjoying themselves. So it isn't in the event, it's in our ability to stop and notice and then appreciate what is happening around us.
We call this SAVORING as coined by Dr. Bryant.
Savoring is a quick and easy way to boost optimism and reduce stress and negative emotions. It's the practice of being mindful and noticing the good around you. Whether it is the giggle of a child, the aroma and taste of a yummy meal, the sight of a beautiful view, the wonderful sensation an old song brings on- take the...
“Did you know: you can build resilience?
Here are some resiliency-building tips:
1. Get sleep.
2. MOVE Take care of yourself physically. Moving helps reduce stress.
3. Eat well. That means real food.
4. Reach out for support. Social support correlates with higher levels of resiliency.
5. Meet challenges as they occur and make a plan to solve them.
6. Build tolerance for uncertainty.
7. Maintain high values, such as responsibility and integrity.
8. Build optimism. Believe that you can improve and it will get better.
9.Challenge negative mind chatter.
Sound overwhelming? Just pick one to focus on at a time. And keep checking back with us. We take the mountains of data and deliver it in one-minute videos so you know what and how to practice for increased happiness. What will you focus on this week? Building your support group or build your optimism? Get more sleep or eat better? You have to Keep practicing- it works.
Don’t forget to...
Did you know: resilience can be taught and improved?
Chris Peterson, one of the Positive Psychology forefathers defines it as “struggling well.” It’s our ability to bounce back and recover from difficulties.
According to research by Reivich and Shatte there are 7 factors to resilience and all are buildable.
Emotion regulation the ability to stay calm under pressure
Impulse control is the ability to control behavior, delay gratification and tolerate ambiguity
Self-efficacy or a sense of mastery
Reaching out which of course is about the social support we have
Empathy which is about reading other people's cues to their emotional states
Optimism which is a hope for the future and a belief that things can change for the better
Casual analysis which includes taking perspective and having Flexible thinking.
We will go into each of those but for now, here is a quote from Hara Estroff Marano’s article “The Art of Resilience”
Do you know why you are so negative?
The answer is evolution.
Evolution has given us a brain that has a “negativity bias”. This bias developed simply because early humans needed to be constantly aware of threats. If they didn’t stay alert to all the threats, they wouldn't have lived to see the next day. Because our ancestors were very good worriers, they survived all the dangers to pass on their fearful, nervous genes to us- their great, great-great-grandchildren.
As Rick Hanson explains it “Basically, in evolution, there are two kinds of mistakes: (1) You think there is a tiger in the bushes but there isn’t one, and (2) You think the coast is clear, no tiger in the bushes, but there really is one about to kill you.
These mistakes have very different consequences. The first one will make you anxious, but the second one will kill you. That’s why Mother Nature wants you to make the first mistake a thousand times over in order- to be...
Do you stop yourself because you are afraid to fail?
Watch this video to hear Brene Brown’s inspiring take on taking a leap of faith and the failure that is possible. It’s my new mantra.
I was just listening to a great conversation on the podcast “Magic Lessons” between Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat Pray Love and Big Magic- Creative Living Beyond Fear and her guest Brene Brown, famous for her research, books and Ted Talks on shame.
They talk about vulnerability and courage- both qualities that are critical for bouncing back from failure. When they discuss “taking the leap of faith” Brene said:
“I don't leap or jump for the landing. I leap for the experience in the air. Because you can not predict the landing. When you get to the place where standing on the edge is more painful than risking a failure, then you owe it to yourself and the world to leap.”
They agreed they want to edit the phrase “what...
Do you want to be successful? Then you better start failing my friend!
Most of us are afraid to start because we are afraid to fail. And yet failure is exactly what we need in order to be successful. Watch this video for the most inspiring failures in history.
There isn't one successful person out there who became successful on their first try. Let me give you a few good - inspiring- examples.
Henry Ford’s first two automobile companies failed.
Albert Einstein’s parents thought he was mentally challenged as a child. His grades in school were so poor that a teacher asked him to quit, saying, “Einstein, you will never amount to anything!”
Walt Disney started his own business from his home garage and his very first cartoon production went bankrupt. During his first press conference, a newspaper editor ridiculed Walt Disney because he had no good ideas for film production.
Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team because...
Do you want something more in your life?
One way to attract what you want is with Visualization.
Research says the most successful form of visualization is PROCESS over an outcome. That means it works best to imagine every step you will take to get to that outcome. Gold medalist Lindsey Vonn says "I always visualize the run before I do it, By the time I get to the start gate, I've run that race 100 times already in my head, picturing how I'll take the turns.” But she doesn't just keep the images in her head. She's also known to physically simulate the path by literally shifting her weight back and forth as if she were on skis, as well as practice the specific breathing patterns she'll use during the race.
Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps visualizes the perfect race from every perspective: as if he is in the stands and from the water over and over again. He has programmed himself for the perfect race before it begins. And we know how that has worked out...
Do you know what your best possible self looks like?
No really. DO you know who you really are as your best possible self?
You can’t start living your best life without knowing where you want to go.
Professor Laura King created an exercise that has been shown to increase positive mood immediately. In her study, King asked participants to spend 20 minutes a day for 4 days writing best possible self in multiple domains of life. Participants who did so were found to have an increase in mood immediately following the exercise, and reported and higher levels of happiness several weeks later. Over the course of the following 5 months, these participants also experienced fewer physical ailments than participants in other groups.
Here’s what to do:
“Think about yourself in the future. Imagine that everything has gone as well as it possibly could. Think of this as the realization of all your life dreams. Now, write about what you...
Do you believe that your thoughts influence your level of abundance?
By now you have heard me repeat that the research and science supporting the theory that thoughts clearly create our reality. I think of affirmations as mini mantras or, being from silicon valley, we may call these “soundbites”. The word affirmation comes from the Latin affirmare, originally meaning “to make steady, strengthen.”
Positive affirmations work by replacing negative programming with more life-affirming statements. Through repetition, you can actually reprogram your brain to think more positively and optimistically!
According to Dr. Carmen Harra “Affirmations do indeed strengthen us by helping us believe in the potential of an action we desire to manifest. When we verbally affirm our dreams and ambitions, we are instantly empowered with a deep sense of reassurance that our wishful words will become reality. Affirmations are proven methods of...